Fooling Strategies
by Mars On Mars
Summary: Things will turn from bad to worse after Roy lies about Riza being his girlfriend. What will happen once Riza knows about it? / Humorous fic!


**A/N: Hello readers, thank you for choosing to read this story! I've been fond of writing one-shots lately and I hope this suits your tastes. I don't know if it really fits the humor category but I was laughing inwardly the whole time I was writing it. I don't really know.**

Our academics ended last Feb 21 and our finals ended on the 28th. So basically it's summer (i live in the Philippines). But i'm still attending school without classes cause I was invited to talk in front of my batch and whatever about careers and all. I was even busy making humungous backdrops for two different events and thankfully I have time to rest for a day. I don't have classes today but I'll be having the talk tomorrow as well as all the deadlines for my projects and requirements. I'm just glad to be able to write again.

**Time setting: teenage years (my own plot)**

**Chapter 1: The Movie**

**Disclaimer: If fma was mine, the royai couple would've had tons of children by now, screwing the fraternization laws while they're together.**

**P.S. I intentionally made Riza OOC**

* * *

"Riza, where are you going?" Roy Mustang asked the dashing blonde girl carrying a duffel strapped over her shoulder with a beige worn out paper bag on her free hand.

Roy Mustang has been secretly in love with Riza Hawkeye for over 3 years already, and he's done a hell of a job of not showing it to anyone, but one. Maes Hughes, his best friend, of course knew everything about it. He expertly hands out advices to Roy on a daily basis. Maes doesn't need to make Roy tell him about Riza. In fact, it's like he'd always known from the start.

Riza sighed and flexed her head to see him. "Yeah, I'm heading out to East to visit my father." Everyone knew Riza and her dad had never been in good terms.

Roy blinked. "Oh," he said. "Well give us a call if something happens, okay?"

She smiled at him. "Of course," she replied. "I'll be gone for a while, and I _highly_ doubt I'll be the first one to call." She chuckled gracefully, causing Roy to join her.

"You know me too well." He smirked.

Riza advanced to Roy and gave him a friendly squeeze. "I'm heading out now. Good bye, Roy." She pulled away, gave him another smile that would usually bring Roy down to his knees, and disappeared from view.

Roy ruffled his midnight black already-messy hair, and heaved a huge sigh. He was really going to miss her.

"Hey Roy!" Roy's head shot up at the sound of his name being called by a familiar voice.

"Maes," he breathed as he watched his bespectacled best friend run towards him. "What's the matter?"

"Jean Havoc and Victoria Hale are coming to visit us in three days!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Roy's eyes widened. "Oh, really?" He said, attempting to hide his excitement. "Why? Havoc ran out of girls to flirt with so he decided to change locations and chose Central City instead?"

Maes rolled his eyes at his best friend. "It's not that, you _moron_. East High is announcing sembreak. They're always in line with Central High's schedule that's why Victoria and Havoc are coming tomorrow," he explained. "Oh which reminds me. They haven't got the chance to meet Riza! I'm sure they'll get along pretty well."

"Riza left just 5 minutes ago. She will be staying at East City for a while to visit her father," Roy sighed and felt worried about his favorite blonde.

Roy's dark obsidian orbs widened as his eyebrows knit together when Maes beamed at him, gripping his shoulder blades securely. Maes's lower jaw was hanging open slightly, his face telling Roy his excitement about something he realized.

"_DUDE_," Maes gripped his shoulders harder. His lips flashed into a huge childish grin. "Your old girlfriend is coming, and your _imaginary_ one is leaving! You're _golden_!"

Roy shrugged off himself from his grasp and fixed his coat more comfortably on his body.

"Shut up," he said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

**Three Days Later**

"Oh there they are," Maes adjusted the way his spectacles rested on his nose and broke into a huge smirk.

"Maes?" Havoc exclaimed, obviously bewildered at his old friend. He had his mouth open in surprise as he took Maes in a bone-crushing hug. "Oh my god, I missed you bro," he pulled away and grinned hugely. "And you changed a lot since I last saw you."

Havoc nodded to himself as he scanned Maes from his head to his soles then back up. He was about to comment about his new haircut when he glanced at another familiar face nearby.

"Hey Mustang!" Havoc grinned even more. After pulling the other man into another hug, he motioned to where he first stood, then there came in another familiar face. A bubbly brunette, nice chest, a very eye-catching figure and a pearl white complexion. It was no other than Victoria Hale, otherwise known as Roy's ex girlfriend.

"Mustang?" The brunette's ears perked up. "Where is he?" She bit her tongue when she saw her now more dashing ex.

Mustang gave a small smile of interest, but a smile nowhere near his interest for Riza. It was his smile for an old friend with a deep background.

"Long time no see, Victoria," he held his hand up.

Victoria advanced to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Wow, you've changed a lot since... we broke up," She muttered awkwardly and pulled away. "I missed you."

"Yeah, you also looked 10 times more beautiful than you were before- and you were even the most beautiful girl to me in those days." Roy chuckled at the memory, even enhancing the words 'in those days'.

"I missed you too, Ria." He smiled at her.

Victoria tensed up visibly at the nickname Roy calls her back when they were dating.

"You've never called me Ria since that night.."

Roy realized his mistake and felt his blood run cold. The other men felt the tense atmosphere, and so after an aching amount of awkward silence Maes voluntarily coughed and decided to change the topic.

"Let's go to your rooms and help you unpack."

* * *

**The next day**

"_YOU_ _WHAT?_" Roy exclaimed.

Everybody flinched at his sudden outburst of emotion. Even the brunette stepped back a bit.

"Y-yeah, that's how it is. Me and Victoria are dating." Havoc explained shakily. He ducked his head and shut his eyes close as if waiting for Roy to strike him. Thankfully, he didn't. In fact, Roy was glued to where he was standing.

Roy felt slow. Like literally slow. He usually gets a new girl to date a few days after he breaks up with another. Although no one knows his undying obsession for a certain blonde, his act of being a playboy has been a nice cover for it. He felt slow since it was the first time an ex-girlfriend of his got into another relationship faster than he did.

"P-please don't get mad, Mustang!" Havoc pleaded. He thought Roy was being "jealous" and all since they're friends but it's not it. How would Roy be jealous if he's been loving the same girl ever since?

"Destroying the guy-code, huh?" Roy decided to continue with the act. (A/N: guy code and girl code is the same. NEVER DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX) He chuckled under his breath and and sighed. "It's fine, bro. I'm not mad."

Havoc exhaled loudly and calmed his muscles in relief. "Holy hell, I thought I was going to be burned to death."

Victoria pushed her boyfriend aside and went in front of Roy. "So, do _you_ have a girlfriend?" Before he could answer, she continued shooting him some questions, "Since when? Do I know her? What's her name? Is she the one you exchanged me with?" Her tone and stare was simply deadly, all filled with bitterness.

On the sides, Maes was even more nervous than Roy. No, actually he was nervous about Roy might say now that he's under this pressure. "Oh.. He's not gonna-"

"Y-yes she is! Riza is my g-_girlfriend_! I love her a-and she loves me."

Maes face-palmed himself for his best friend's lie. "Yep, he's gonna."

Victoria's insides flared up, quirked an eyebrow, and her eyes gave off a steel gaze. "**Riza**?" Her voice turned deadlier. "You've never mentioned any _Riza_." She said this while slowly advancing towards the slightly shaking Roy.

Roy thought of a counterattack. "W-well you never mentioned my **friend** Havoc is your new boyfriend!" He scrunched his eyebrows and said, "Riza and I love each other and we're happy!"

Little did they know that the main character of the conversation is right there beside them.

"Oh hey guys," Riza beamed at them.

Maes and Roy shivered involuntarily at the sound of an unexpected guest. Judging from her tone, they thanked the gods for not letting her hear Roy's last statement.

"_Riza_? _What are you doing early back from East City?_" Roy asked her softly and tensely through his gritted teeth, forcing a smile.

Riza, oblivious of what was happening, replied, "Oh my father threw me out again." she shrugged and added, "What's new?"

Victoria crossed her arms on her chest and eyed Riza scrutinizingly. "Wow, Roy, she sure is lovely." She said in a monotonous tone, but still filled with utter bitterness.

Roy chuckled nervously and motioned his hand to Victoria and Havoc. "Riza, this is Victoria and Havoc, my good friends back in East City. Havoc and Victoria, this is Riza, my g- _this is Riza._" he mentally cursed Riza for being home so early and at the wrong time.

Riza gracefully held out a hand to Victoria. "Hello Victoria, nice to meet you."

"You too," the brunette didn't move an inch to accept her hand.

Again, the men felt another wave of a tense atmosphere. This time, Havoc stepped in.

"Hey, there's this new movie being aired tonight called 'Love Formed From Alchemy'. I heard the multi-oscar winning actors The Elric Brothers are part of the major characters. How 'bout we all see it?"

"I'd love to go! I've always had a huge bias for Alphonse Elric! Jean, we should see it!" Victoria beamed excitedly.

"Oh no, I can't go. I have a report to do." Maes apologized. He got a look of hate from Roy mentally screaming, 'you traitor'

"Alright then. Roy, Riza, Victoria and I'll be seeing that movie tonight." Havoc said.

"Unless.. Riza doesn't wanna go." Victoria eyed the blonde.

Roy mentally prayed that she would refuse. Riza _hates_ romance. He knows it.

"I'd be willing to go." Riza grinned at her new friends. '_What the actual fuck_?' Roy cursed in his mind.

Later that night, they all prepared for the movie. Roy slicked back his midnight black hair and wore some decent casual clothing. He didn't want to look bad in front of his friends and his "_girlfriend"_. He took a last gaze of himself on the mirror before going out to meet them.

His mobile phone rang inside his side pocket. As he was walking towards their said meeting place, he picked it up and answered.

"Hey Roy! Good luck with the double date." It was Maes. Roy rolled his eyes.

"It's not a double date, idiot."

"Well for Havoc and Hale, it is."

"Damn it, stop trying to make me feel bad. I just hope I don't screw up." He raised his free hand and massaged his face. "I just want to show Victoria I love Riza and no one else."

"Okay man, just call me if something awesome happens! Or bad."

Roy sighed and ended the call. He saw his three friends all waiting for him by the entrance of the theater. He took a deep breath and smiled at them.

"Sorry I got late," he said.

"You're not late, dude. We're just early." Havoc assured him. At the same time, Victoria curled her fingers around his arm.

Roy almost lost himself as soon as he laid eyes on Riza's frame. She has always been beautiful to everyone, especially him, but he has never saw her this way- not in a dress.

"God, you look breathtaking." He admired her lovingly. It ached him that she's not his real girlfriend, but pretending that she is is a little finer than none.

"Thank you, Roy," Riza blushed at his compliment. "I remember you say that you've always wanted to see me in a dress, so I figured this is the right time to wear one."

Before he could stop himself, he took her in his arms and took in her scent. "It looks wonderful. You look beautiful."

Victoria was staring at the two with pure jealousy. It was so obvious that she still hasn't moved on from Roy and her break up. And Roy and Riza's actions right now were adding oil to the fire. The only thing she doesn't know is that they're not actually together, and that Roy is merely pretending without the consent of Riza.

"The movie's starting. We should go." Havoc said. Something was really odd about Victoria ever since she saw Roy and he can't seem to put his finger on it. He would let this pass, at least for now.

* * *

Love Formed From Alchemy was already at the middle of its time. Victoria was cuddling to Havoc and would occasionally glance at Roy and Riza. She was trying to make _Roy_ feel jealous. On the other hand, Roy was trying to show her that he loves _someone else_.

The two weren't focused on the movie, but focused on trying to prove a point. Victoria puckered her lips and tried to time the exact moment Roy takes a glance at them. When he did so, Victoria cuddled closer to Havoc and kissed him on the cheek. Havoc's face burned red while Roy's eyebrow raised. Victoria eyed Roy and was watching what he was going to do with Riza.

Roy started to get nervous again. He took a sideward glance to Riza and noticed she was paying full attention to the movie. Her face glistened even in the dark room, even when it's only illuminated by the screen. He gazed at her for a while then stretched his arms upward making a muffled yawn, landing his left arm slowly over her shoulders.

Unfortunately, this didn't go unnoticed. As soon as his arm made contact to her skin, she jumped slightly and looked at him incredulously. "What the hell, Roy?" she scolded in a whisper.

His heart beat faster than ever. He slowly but achingly removed his arm off of her. Oh how he wished he could do that to her someday without her complaining.

Victoria smirked at the sight. She was able to think of a new brilliant plan. She took a small amount of popcorn from Havoc's popcorn bag and gave him a slight shake.

"Honey, here's some popcorn." She whispered seductively. Havoc gaped at her for a moment and gulped. Victoria has never been like this to him before. Surely, there was something wrong with his girlfriend. He hesitatingly opened his mouth and accepted her offer.

Roy bit his lip after their scene. He eyed Riza's almost untouched popcorn bag and leaned in closer to whisper in her ear.

"Riza, could you give me some popcorn?"

Without looking at him, she grabbed a handful of popcorn and stretched her arm in front of him. He knows Victoria is watching so he tried to catch the popcorns in her hand with his mouth, to no avail. Riza's hand wasn't keeping its place. When Riza noticed something weird, she finally glanced at Roy, her anger building up again. He was acting so weird!

She glared at Roy for his actions. "Don't you have _hands_?"

He stuffed his hands inside his pockets and smiled apologetically. "My hands are kinda full so.."

Riza irritatingly shoved the handful of popcorn in his mouth, some falling on his lap and on the floor. Thankfully, Victoria didn't see this.

10 minutes later, he didn't pay attention to the couple beside them. He just personally wanted to show Riza his feelings, he just couldn't do so. He bowed his head and ruffled his hair from the back to top. He saw Riza's hand still stained from the popcorn's seasoning. He reached for his jacket pocket and took out some rubbing alcohol. He grabbed her pale wrist and squirted some alcohol on her palm. She was watching him the whole time and she didn't find this one a tad bit weird so she made no move to stop him.

He rubbed the alcohol around her hand using both of his. It was then that he realized it was the first time he held her hand. She didn't seem to be minding it so he thought it was okay. After he was done with his actions, his right hand went back to his lap while other remained on her hand. His heart kept thumping furiously on his chest, then he slowly eased his fingers through the spaces between hers.

This was when Riza started to get really angry. She scrunched her eyebrows together, pulled out her hand away from his then furiously stood up, catching everyone's attention. "**What the hell are you doing, Roy?!**" She shouted.

Roy, Havoc and Victoria also stood up.

"Woah, Riza, boyfriends and girlfriends don't fight like this.. In a place like this too." Havoc raised a hand towards her.

"We're not boyfriend and girlfriend-"

"Huh, but Roy said you were his girlfrie-"

Riza's eye twitched visibly. Her blood was boiling hot from her rage. "YOU WHAT?" She was clearly shooting daggers to Roy with her glare.

Roy's heart fell. He definitely screwed up. "Riza, I-"

"Oh no you didn't..** How dare you use me!**" She slapped him hard across the face, leaving everyone else inside the theater gasp in shock. By then, the lights inside the theater reopened and now everyone was staring at them.

Riza grabbed her stuff and furiously walked out.

"Riza, I wasn't using you!" Roy shouted.

* * *

**The next day**

"I guess this is it. Thanks for the time, guys. See ya next year." Havoc smiled at Maes and Roy.

Roy smiled back. "Look, I'm really sorry about last night. I just-"

Victoria intervened. "No, it's alright, Roy. We understand. We're sorry too."

"Yeah, I'm just sad Riza's not here to see us off. She's a cool person." Havoc sighed.

"She's locked herself in her room since she stomped her way back here last night." Maes added.

After the couple left, Roy headed back to his own room and flopped on his bed. He hid his face under a pillow, mentally cursing himself from all his actions.

He grasped the pillow and threw it across the room, knocking over a few books on his shelf.

"I fucking love you Riza Hawkeye." he buried his face in his palms as he was sitting up. "I have always fucking loved you."

Suddenly, a knock on his door resounded the whole room. He ruffled his hair before getting the door. As he opened his door, his favorite blonde was standing right in front of him, dressed in her night clothes.

"R-Riza," he stammered. "What brings you here?" He stepped aside to let her in then shut the door behind them.

"I heard what you said just now." She muttered. She interlocked her fingers and looked at him straight in the eyes.

Roy felt his whole body burn and tremble.

"Is it true? You have always loved me? Since when?"

"More than 3 years ago." He admitted. She nodded.

"I heard from Maes about why you did those things last night."

Roy sighed and tore his gaze away from hers. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. You know, for slapping you."

There was an awkward silence for about a minute or two. They just stood there silently. Roy thought his actions were gonna ruin their friendship, but it all faded away from his mind as soon as she broke into a smile.

"You know, you could've just told me that you wanted to make her realize you don't love her anymore."

Roy's eyes widened and he stared at her.

Riza's smile grew bigger and she took some steps towards him. "We could have done _this_," she whispered and cuddled him from behind. He felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest if she doesn't stop.

"And _this_," she started tickling him everywhere, making him laugh involuntarily. She walked around him and stopped in front of him.

"And _this_," she pressed her body on his and reached upward to fix his hair lovingly like any couple would do. He absently wrapped his arms on her waist as a response.

He was fucking dreaming. He had to be dreaming.

"And _this_." She stood on her tiptoes and closed the distance between them. She pressed her lips on his softly at first, but it got into an intense phase. Roy was intoxicated. He felt himself giving in to her. He pressed her to him even tighter when his tongue finally gained entrance to her mouth.

She pulled away slightly and smirked at him. "_That_ would have fooled her." She blew him one last peck on the lips before completely pulling away from him and exiting his room.

Roy had his lower jaw slightly hanging open and his eyes wide staring at nothingness. He slowly reached his fingers to touch his lips before he could lose his balance and his head kissing the cold hard ground.

* * *

A/N: hope you liked it! Reviews please!


End file.
